In this harrowing, Job-like memoir of deep suffering, the New York Times columnist and Christian public intellectual, Ross Douthat, recounts a six-year struggle with a chronic disease that is often misdiagnosed and misunderstood. Beginning in 2015 with a “romantic” idea to flee D.C. for their childhood roots in Connecticut, Douthat and his wife Abby, also a writer, with their three young children, made the move to rural New England. After a single visit to an eighteenth-century farmstead that they eventually moved into, Douthat came down with a boil on his neck, the result of a deer tick bite. Undiagnosed for weeks, Douthat found himself in deep pain, with a multitude of symptoms that did not go away and saw him visit multiple doctors and emergency rooms. Lyme Disease was the eventual diagnosis. He was subjected to a variety of antibiotic regimes and in desperation tried different “alternative” strategies that he had researched on the internet.

Over the course of this 6-year battle, during which his fourth child was born, Douthat recounts a deep struggle with his faith in God. He admits that before contracting Lyme Disease his Christian beliefs were “pretty abstract” and “intellectualized.” In the midst of suffering, he would often find himself stopping during the day at an empty church and even kneeling on concrete. For two and a half years he pleaded and bargained with God. On at least two occasions, once in a church, and once standing on the beach in a tidal pool while holding his young son, Douthat was profoundly touched by God. He also gained a new appreciation for those who are afflicted with chronic pain and how those of us who are healthy are able to “filter out” these suffering ones. Douthat makes no claim to be “blameless” before God like Job, but I for one tip my hat to a Christian whose faith has been refined by fire.